Happy Sunday morning... My brain is looking at the mess surrounding me and asking, can I paint the walls in this living room and managed to put the house back together for Nick and his partner arrive on Friday? More importantly, I am wondering if I can go and buy the paint tomorrow, and once Lar leaves for work on Tuesday, have the room painted before he gets home that night? Now, that is the question.
I know that telling my hubby that I want to paint in here again so soon is going to earn a frown. Perhaps even a NO. But, the thing is, I don't want to hear a NO, and I don't want to see the frown, either. Now, admittedly, choosing a new paint color isn't much. I am married to a man who is color blind, so that isn't the issue. It isn't about money, either. He just worries about me taking on too much. And, THAT is why he would frown and/or say NO.
I was wondering if this sort of 'thing' is common among us DD wives? If we think we'll get a NO, do we try to work around it someway or that we can get our way? What are your limits? What lines do you dare and not dare to cross?
DD isn't meant to be an exercise in figuring out how to get our way, but on learning to communicate and live in harmony. Granted, a new paint color isn't much, but I wonder how often I do things and then share afterwards? This is something for thought...
Joannie
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
I worked on writing all day today, and it was one of those days when the words simply flew through my fingers and on the screen. Fun. But, it made me question something, and I hope that those of you who read here will answer...
What kinds of spankings do you enjoy reading most? Sweet ones, mild spanking, maybe over clothing? (As in westerns when modesty was a huge issue with most people.) Or do you prefer the harsher spankings, bare bottom, and say a switch or a paddle, belt??? I write both, but sometimes I wonder what readers think. The couple I was writing about today... They were in a schoolroom... she is the teacher, and she lost her temper with one of her pupil's father. He tossed up her skirts, but left her drawers in place. I'm not even sure that would have happened in reality, not with a bunch of kids outside at recess... but it fit into the story, and well, I am a spanko... I wanted to write that scene. LOL
In reality, I would just die if Lar were to spank me like that and there was a chance of being discovered. It did happen once. We were visiting friends, but I had one more night of a punishment coming. Lar packed a cane since it is quiet, but it was definitely overheard... and I was asked about it the next day. Talk about embarrassed!!!
Joannie
What kinds of spankings do you enjoy reading most? Sweet ones, mild spanking, maybe over clothing? (As in westerns when modesty was a huge issue with most people.) Or do you prefer the harsher spankings, bare bottom, and say a switch or a paddle, belt??? I write both, but sometimes I wonder what readers think. The couple I was writing about today... They were in a schoolroom... she is the teacher, and she lost her temper with one of her pupil's father. He tossed up her skirts, but left her drawers in place. I'm not even sure that would have happened in reality, not with a bunch of kids outside at recess... but it fit into the story, and well, I am a spanko... I wanted to write that scene. LOL
In reality, I would just die if Lar were to spank me like that and there was a chance of being discovered. It did happen once. We were visiting friends, but I had one more night of a punishment coming. Lar packed a cane since it is quiet, but it was definitely overheard... and I was asked about it the next day. Talk about embarrassed!!!
Joannie
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Today was an emotional day for Lar and I. We buried a dear friend who lost a nearly three year battle with cancer. He was a great Granger, and he and his wife exemplified everything that is good in a marriage. Lar and I looked up to them for over forty years, and they were our role models, and they were full of wisdom.
The thing that I will remember about them is that I never once heard them say anything disrespectful of or to each other. Oh, I'm sure they had their differences; what married couple doesn't? But, the love was always present and foremost in the way they spoke to each other and the way they looked at each other, and in the smiles they shared.
They were truly in sync with each other. They finished each other's sentences, helped each other, and you knew that you were getting the truth when they spoke to you about anything. Did they live a DD lifestyle? I don't know; I do know that they loved each other, respected each other, trusted each other, and they communicated with each other. I don't think the words 'domestic discipline' were known to them when they were first married sixty-four years ago, but while she always spoke her mind, he was the one who had the final say in how things were done.
They have given us an example to live up to. Rest in peace, dear friend.
Joannie
The thing that I will remember about them is that I never once heard them say anything disrespectful of or to each other. Oh, I'm sure they had their differences; what married couple doesn't? But, the love was always present and foremost in the way they spoke to each other and the way they looked at each other, and in the smiles they shared.
They were truly in sync with each other. They finished each other's sentences, helped each other, and you knew that you were getting the truth when they spoke to you about anything. Did they live a DD lifestyle? I don't know; I do know that they loved each other, respected each other, trusted each other, and they communicated with each other. I don't think the words 'domestic discipline' were known to them when they were first married sixty-four years ago, but while she always spoke her mind, he was the one who had the final say in how things were done.
They have given us an example to live up to. Rest in peace, dear friend.
Joannie
Monday, April 8, 2013
Good morning. I just had my plans for my day turned upside down, and while I am mentally regrouping and getting into 'writer mode', I thought it would be a good time to make today's post. And, I'm going to change the topic I planned to write about today, to the one on my mind right now!
I was going to run errands for my dear husband, who took off this morning with his driver's license... Now, no, that is not unusual, but I needed to take it and a certified copy of his birth certificate to the Social Security office. The man has been 'fighting' me tooth and nail about filling out the forms that all of us need to fill out when we reach the wonderful age of sixty-five. He simply refuses to accept change in his life, and the idea of retiring is repugnant to him. I would simply say, "Go for it!"... IF he wasn't working sixty to seventy hours a week. I would not worry so much if he would cut back to forty hours and not work six or seven days a week. He is exhausted all the time... Okay, that is the background.
A few years ago I would have lost it when I realized my plans for the day were ruined when he didn't cooperate and leave his license here. After all, I am giving up MY time to do this FOR him, and I would have felt sorely unappreciated! I would have had a fit, said harsh and angry words to him, and I would be mad until he teased me out of it, or did something special to 'fix' things. That was before DD.
To me, one of the major benefits of living this lifestyle is learning to control the temper that was so destructive during the first twenty-seven years of our marriage. Oh, early on, before children entered into the picture, Lar would take so much of my witchiness, until HE was angry, and then he would spank. It had a calming affect on me, but then he suffered with guilt because he 'hit a woman', someone he loved and would protect with his life. I was soooo unaware of his feelings, or I could and would have reassured him and begged him to continue being that stern man. Even then I desired this lifestyle, and I sometimes wonder if I wasn't acting out so much to try and provoke him to spank me. I also felt like this need was my dirty, dark secret, and I guarded it religiously. I was afraid for anyone, especially Lar, to find out about my secret because I just knew I had to be mentally ill to think such things. Secretly I was thrilled when he spanked. It worked, and I was always so disappointed that he didn't 'get it'.
It wasn't until my brother gave me his old computer and I got online and typed in that magic word "Spanking" and so many sites came up that I learned there were others like me! I was shocked, and I was relieved, but I was still afraid to tell Lar.
Things came to a head one day, and if you've read my Laurel and Joseph books, you know the story... I thought there was nothing to lose, and I told Lar I wanted a DD lifestyle; that I wanted to be accountable. He agreed and an S/O or HOH was born. I know he was shocked to realize how quickly a spanking would bring a tantrum to an end. We have dealt with a lot of issues in fourteen years, and while I am certainly not perfect, I am not an out of control wife any longer.
So, instead of flying into a rage at having my plans changed, I am going to use the time to work on a story, clean out the fridge, and fix a special dinner for Lar. And, I won't let it wreck the beginning of this week. DD does have many benefits, and I am positive that Lar is at work, smiling and very pleased that the temper he was expecting didn't happen. This change didn't happen over night, and fourteen years ago, it would have been a guaranteed sore butt. Now it might be a Good Girl spanking instead (especially if I bake a blackberry pie for him). WEG
Joannie
I was going to run errands for my dear husband, who took off this morning with his driver's license... Now, no, that is not unusual, but I needed to take it and a certified copy of his birth certificate to the Social Security office. The man has been 'fighting' me tooth and nail about filling out the forms that all of us need to fill out when we reach the wonderful age of sixty-five. He simply refuses to accept change in his life, and the idea of retiring is repugnant to him. I would simply say, "Go for it!"... IF he wasn't working sixty to seventy hours a week. I would not worry so much if he would cut back to forty hours and not work six or seven days a week. He is exhausted all the time... Okay, that is the background.
A few years ago I would have lost it when I realized my plans for the day were ruined when he didn't cooperate and leave his license here. After all, I am giving up MY time to do this FOR him, and I would have felt sorely unappreciated! I would have had a fit, said harsh and angry words to him, and I would be mad until he teased me out of it, or did something special to 'fix' things. That was before DD.
To me, one of the major benefits of living this lifestyle is learning to control the temper that was so destructive during the first twenty-seven years of our marriage. Oh, early on, before children entered into the picture, Lar would take so much of my witchiness, until HE was angry, and then he would spank. It had a calming affect on me, but then he suffered with guilt because he 'hit a woman', someone he loved and would protect with his life. I was soooo unaware of his feelings, or I could and would have reassured him and begged him to continue being that stern man. Even then I desired this lifestyle, and I sometimes wonder if I wasn't acting out so much to try and provoke him to spank me. I also felt like this need was my dirty, dark secret, and I guarded it religiously. I was afraid for anyone, especially Lar, to find out about my secret because I just knew I had to be mentally ill to think such things. Secretly I was thrilled when he spanked. It worked, and I was always so disappointed that he didn't 'get it'.
It wasn't until my brother gave me his old computer and I got online and typed in that magic word "Spanking" and so many sites came up that I learned there were others like me! I was shocked, and I was relieved, but I was still afraid to tell Lar.
Things came to a head one day, and if you've read my Laurel and Joseph books, you know the story... I thought there was nothing to lose, and I told Lar I wanted a DD lifestyle; that I wanted to be accountable. He agreed and an S/O or HOH was born. I know he was shocked to realize how quickly a spanking would bring a tantrum to an end. We have dealt with a lot of issues in fourteen years, and while I am certainly not perfect, I am not an out of control wife any longer.
So, instead of flying into a rage at having my plans changed, I am going to use the time to work on a story, clean out the fridge, and fix a special dinner for Lar. And, I won't let it wreck the beginning of this week. DD does have many benefits, and I am positive that Lar is at work, smiling and very pleased that the temper he was expecting didn't happen. This change didn't happen over night, and fourteen years ago, it would have been a guaranteed sore butt. Now it might be a Good Girl spanking instead (especially if I bake a blackberry pie for him). WEG
Joannie
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Communicating your needs
Good morning to all, I cannot believe it has been a year since I posted here!!! And then, not much on DD!!!! So, lets discuss a few things about DD. As long as I have been moderating a DD forum, and that is going on fourteen years, one thing comes up very often... Doing something deliberately in order to get a spanking.
First of all, don't worry, this is pretty natural, especially if you are the one who is wired this way and your hubby is trying to learn about the lifestyle to make you feel loved and cherished. I've done it, and so have most of my DD friends. So, you are in good company.
The real problem behind this is a lack of communication. We feel we are dropping hints that are huge logs crashing down, when, in reality, they are toothpicks falling on carpet to our S/O's ears! We need to be a bit more direct and find a way to communicate our need in a way that our S/O actually hears us.
Writing a letter (in the old-fashioned way) is a nice touch, and putting it where he will find it a good idea. Or send an email. The thing with that, with Big Brother watching all we do these days, do not send an email of this nature to his work email. The last thing you want to do is endanger his credibility at work, and most companies monitor their employees computers and email account.
You can be creative in this letter and tell him how you are feeling and ask if he will help you to feel less stress, or less guilty about something. Do not make this letter one of finger-pointing and use the words "You never..." That is a huge turn-off to most men. Compliments work much better than criticisms.
Another thing you can do is to write a story, or a scenario, and present it to your S/O. This idea was shared on my forum by one of our S/O's, and I feel it a good one. After all, I am a writer, and I do love stories. This can be truly from your heart. Here is a sample:
"Honey, I was having naughty thoughts today, and I want to share them with you and perhaps we can act them out later tonight...?":
Once upon a time there was a naughty schoolgirl, and she was sent to the office many times for a scolding. The principal finally told her that the next time she misbehaved he was going to bend her over his desk for a very serious spanking. Well, this girl misbehaved almost as soon as she returned to the classroom, and the principal was convinced she needed a sharp lesson. He scolded for a while, and then instructed her to pull up her skirt and bend over his desk. Once she was finally in place, after much pleading and arguing that she wouldn't do it again if he gave her another chance, he took out a ruler and spanked her until her remorse was genuine.
Okay, that is a sample. You may borrow it if I hit your fantasy spanking... Or you may adapt it and make it your own. Put in an implement that pleases you, and add many details. I wasn't about to get too steamy on here. lol
Now, that works if you want to play or you need stress relief, but what if you feel you need a genuine punishment? The best way is to be direct and say, "Larry, I am feeling guilty for being so disrespectful last night, and I feel I deserve a spanking." Then listen to what HE has to say. He might not agree. He might say that he provoked your anger. He might tell you that he didn't feel you were disrespectful. And, shock of all shocks, he might agree with you and then you start trying to back-pedal your way out of a spanking! lol
Communication is important, and as one forum member told me years ago, he needs to hear something several times before he really takes it seriously and to heart. Don't be afraid to repeat yourself. Just remember to do it respectfully and with love. Those S/O's are not mind readers, and if you do have one who can read your mind, you are in serious trouble!
Love,
Joannie
First of all, don't worry, this is pretty natural, especially if you are the one who is wired this way and your hubby is trying to learn about the lifestyle to make you feel loved and cherished. I've done it, and so have most of my DD friends. So, you are in good company.
The real problem behind this is a lack of communication. We feel we are dropping hints that are huge logs crashing down, when, in reality, they are toothpicks falling on carpet to our S/O's ears! We need to be a bit more direct and find a way to communicate our need in a way that our S/O actually hears us.
Writing a letter (in the old-fashioned way) is a nice touch, and putting it where he will find it a good idea. Or send an email. The thing with that, with Big Brother watching all we do these days, do not send an email of this nature to his work email. The last thing you want to do is endanger his credibility at work, and most companies monitor their employees computers and email account.
You can be creative in this letter and tell him how you are feeling and ask if he will help you to feel less stress, or less guilty about something. Do not make this letter one of finger-pointing and use the words "You never..." That is a huge turn-off to most men. Compliments work much better than criticisms.
Another thing you can do is to write a story, or a scenario, and present it to your S/O. This idea was shared on my forum by one of our S/O's, and I feel it a good one. After all, I am a writer, and I do love stories. This can be truly from your heart. Here is a sample:
"Honey, I was having naughty thoughts today, and I want to share them with you and perhaps we can act them out later tonight...?":
Once upon a time there was a naughty schoolgirl, and she was sent to the office many times for a scolding. The principal finally told her that the next time she misbehaved he was going to bend her over his desk for a very serious spanking. Well, this girl misbehaved almost as soon as she returned to the classroom, and the principal was convinced she needed a sharp lesson. He scolded for a while, and then instructed her to pull up her skirt and bend over his desk. Once she was finally in place, after much pleading and arguing that she wouldn't do it again if he gave her another chance, he took out a ruler and spanked her until her remorse was genuine.
Okay, that is a sample. You may borrow it if I hit your fantasy spanking... Or you may adapt it and make it your own. Put in an implement that pleases you, and add many details. I wasn't about to get too steamy on here. lol
Now, that works if you want to play or you need stress relief, but what if you feel you need a genuine punishment? The best way is to be direct and say, "Larry, I am feeling guilty for being so disrespectful last night, and I feel I deserve a spanking." Then listen to what HE has to say. He might not agree. He might say that he provoked your anger. He might tell you that he didn't feel you were disrespectful. And, shock of all shocks, he might agree with you and then you start trying to back-pedal your way out of a spanking! lol
Communication is important, and as one forum member told me years ago, he needs to hear something several times before he really takes it seriously and to heart. Don't be afraid to repeat yourself. Just remember to do it respectfully and with love. Those S/O's are not mind readers, and if you do have one who can read your mind, you are in serious trouble!
Love,
Joannie
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
We Have Done It!!!
Finally, we settled Mama's estate today. I had no idea it would take so long, and this is with absolutely no contention between us. The attorney is used to siblings fighting over money and arguing with each other over every dime. I guess it helps if there is no money, and all that has to be decided is how much we each owed to settle Mom's bills. Of course it should have included our other brother, but since he hasn't held a job in years, good luck with that. LOL So, Paul and I paid things off, and that is that. I do need to go back and sign checks once they have them all prepared, but that won't take very long. At long last. Now I can get this off my mind... Mama would be happy.
Tonight is the finish of The Voice. I am looking forward to seeing if my guy wins. I think he has a good chance, but who knows how people will vote. I should work tonight, but will probably get up early tomorrow and have at it.
Joannie
Tonight is the finish of The Voice. I am looking forward to seeing if my guy wins. I think he has a good chance, but who knows how people will vote. I should work tonight, but will probably get up early tomorrow and have at it.
Joannie
Sunday, May 6, 2012
A Little Sad
Mother's Day is next Sunday, and this is the first year that I won't be cooking a Mother's Day dinner for my Mama. It makes me very sad. I told Lar that I would prefer to have a quiet day... My brother and I have both been staying very busy to try and keep our minds off things. I know I am a Mom and a Gramma... but somehow I never thought the day was for me. Weird, I know.
I took little Nee for a 'girls night' on Friday. After the schoolbus dropped her off, I drove her to a town that is rather small, and not as heavily trafficked as the city close to us. I was unsure about the driving since I have nightblindness and it was rainy and stormy. Nee wanted to eat first, even though it was very early. I said fine, and sprung my first big surprise on her. I told her that we were going to Red Lobster! She said, "Gramma, I don't really like that place." Okay. Insert deep sigh. I really really wanted to go there. So we went to Dairy Queen, and guess what we ordered? Shrimp!!!!! Oh well, she enjoyed it. The one thing she wanted to do was go and pick out the fabric and pattern for her birthday dress. I make her a dress every year to wear on her birthday. I was a bit surprised (and pleased) because her birthday isn't until June 21. But, we went and shopped for that, and she was very fast at picking out what she wanted. She was happy, We moved on to the mall, and I had a specific store to take her too. It is a delight for little girls all the way through college age girls. Renee fell in love with the place, and she filled a basket with all sorts of Hello Kitty stuff. She was thrilled. She was still behaving and happy, so I asked her if she wanted to go to a movie and took her to that Pirates Band of Misfits movie, or something of that sort. It was Disney, and therefore, suitable for her age. I got our tickets and 3-D glasses, which have improved considerably since I was younger. Then I made her go to the bathroom. I told her that I don't walk out until the movie is over... but, of course I would have taken her if necessary. Then she wanted to know if we could get a snack for the movie. I gave her a shocked look. "How could we go to a movie without popcorn?" She started giggling. Of course, I got a large tub of popcorn so I could spill part of it on the floor and still have some left! I was amazed that the theater didn't have many people in it. And, mostly, it was kids and Moms in there. We got good 'short people' seats, and there was no one around us to be annoying. I have to admit that one Mom had two kids that were a bit older, and one that was probably three. He kept talking throughout the movie, and he was precious. His Mom kept trying to hush him, but he was just enjoying the show and asking questions. Renee enjoyed the movie very much. All during the show I could hear it raining, actually pouring, and storming like crazy. I was so afraid I was going to have to call Lar or Paul to come and get us. Lar thought so, too, and so did Paul. I called Lar and told him I thought I could see to drive. The rain had stopped, and I got out on the Interstate easily. It is a construction zone right there, and only one lane open, and that is the shoulder on the left. A man stopped and let me out. I stayed behind a semi all the way up the highway until my exit. I had no trouble at all, and then called Paul when I got home. He was worried and waiting for me to call for him to come and get us... Overprotective husband Lar and overprotective brother Paul. It is nice to be loved. So, anyway, Renee had a special time, which was the whole point of the evening. I hate to shop, but we shopped for fabric... and I enjoyed her first adventure into Claire's. I spoiled her, and she needed a bit of spoiling.
Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend.
Joannie
I took little Nee for a 'girls night' on Friday. After the schoolbus dropped her off, I drove her to a town that is rather small, and not as heavily trafficked as the city close to us. I was unsure about the driving since I have nightblindness and it was rainy and stormy. Nee wanted to eat first, even though it was very early. I said fine, and sprung my first big surprise on her. I told her that we were going to Red Lobster! She said, "Gramma, I don't really like that place." Okay. Insert deep sigh. I really really wanted to go there. So we went to Dairy Queen, and guess what we ordered? Shrimp!!!!! Oh well, she enjoyed it. The one thing she wanted to do was go and pick out the fabric and pattern for her birthday dress. I make her a dress every year to wear on her birthday. I was a bit surprised (and pleased) because her birthday isn't until June 21. But, we went and shopped for that, and she was very fast at picking out what she wanted. She was happy, We moved on to the mall, and I had a specific store to take her too. It is a delight for little girls all the way through college age girls. Renee fell in love with the place, and she filled a basket with all sorts of Hello Kitty stuff. She was thrilled. She was still behaving and happy, so I asked her if she wanted to go to a movie and took her to that Pirates Band of Misfits movie, or something of that sort. It was Disney, and therefore, suitable for her age. I got our tickets and 3-D glasses, which have improved considerably since I was younger. Then I made her go to the bathroom. I told her that I don't walk out until the movie is over... but, of course I would have taken her if necessary. Then she wanted to know if we could get a snack for the movie. I gave her a shocked look. "How could we go to a movie without popcorn?" She started giggling. Of course, I got a large tub of popcorn so I could spill part of it on the floor and still have some left! I was amazed that the theater didn't have many people in it. And, mostly, it was kids and Moms in there. We got good 'short people' seats, and there was no one around us to be annoying. I have to admit that one Mom had two kids that were a bit older, and one that was probably three. He kept talking throughout the movie, and he was precious. His Mom kept trying to hush him, but he was just enjoying the show and asking questions. Renee enjoyed the movie very much. All during the show I could hear it raining, actually pouring, and storming like crazy. I was so afraid I was going to have to call Lar or Paul to come and get us. Lar thought so, too, and so did Paul. I called Lar and told him I thought I could see to drive. The rain had stopped, and I got out on the Interstate easily. It is a construction zone right there, and only one lane open, and that is the shoulder on the left. A man stopped and let me out. I stayed behind a semi all the way up the highway until my exit. I had no trouble at all, and then called Paul when I got home. He was worried and waiting for me to call for him to come and get us... Overprotective husband Lar and overprotective brother Paul. It is nice to be loved. So, anyway, Renee had a special time, which was the whole point of the evening. I hate to shop, but we shopped for fabric... and I enjoyed her first adventure into Claire's. I spoiled her, and she needed a bit of spoiling.
Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend.
Joannie
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