Monday, May 6, 2013

The Garden is Planted

We took two days to plant three 'square foot' gardens. (For those who do not know, a square foot garden is usually small, and you plant a lot of stuff in a small space. They are built from wood, and filled with soil. We have three of them.) Lar and I used to do a huge garden without so much as blinking.  Our two grandkids came to help, and it does take a little longer to allow children to learn to do things we grew up doing, but we had fun together, and we are making memories with them.  Ooodles of fun.  I think the funnest part, however, was handing Lar eggplant plants to put in the garden.  He still doesn't know he planted those, but the children and I had a lot of fun snickering behind his back.  There are very few things my husband won't eat; eggplant is one of those things.  Still, I felt it was worth risking his ire so Gabe and Renee could see how it grows.  I thought sure he would catch me in the act because his mother had a lot of eggplant in her garden every year... but, I'm safe for a while. lol We also added brussels sprouts to the inventory.  We did celery one year, and I was amazed by the way it grew.  So were the children.

The best part of gardening was that we ate out almost all weekend.  Lar embarrassed me (I know, hard to believe!) at one place.  The kids were trying to give me dessert, and I was trying to politely say 'no'.  Finally, Lar looked over at Gabe and said, "If Gramma eats that I'll spank her!"  Of course, my grandson, who is a little HOH in the making, gave this laugh and nodded a bit too eagerly.  Renee looked at her Grampa in horror. "Grampa!  Gramma is too old for that!"  That made Lar laugh out loud, drawing even more attention.  

One DD issue that has been giving me a terrible time lately is  'obedience'.  Lar and I normally agree on most things.  It's so easy to accept his being the HOH and his having the last say when I agree with him, but it is so much more difficult when you do not agree.  I am more confrontational than he is.  I have a temper, and people do make me angry at times.  Lar has a temper, but it is situations and things (especially fixing cars) that make him angry, rarely people.  So, translating all of that into the situation, I would like to give someone a royal set-down, and he forbids it.  I am biting my tongue constantly, and let's face it... With my temper it is a matter of time before I blow...  That said, obedience is one of the more difficult aspects of DD.  One of my friends says it best... He says he doesn't wish to micromanage his family.  His wife has things she is best at, and he trusts her to handle those things.  There are things he is best at, and he assumes that role.  But, when he needs to step in and makes a decision, it is final, right or wrong.  Lar and I were married for a long time before we started this lifestyle.  Our lines were set. Rarely do we disagree, but once in a while that NO is issued, or sometimes it is a YES when I don't want to comply... and it is so hard to do what I basically believe in.  I'll also add that going ahead with something after a NO is given is punishable.  It doesn't happen too often, but there are times it is human to clash.  That is when it helps to have someone to talk to who understands and lives this lifestyle, too.

I am having guests tomorrow night, and I have a lot to get done between now and then.  You all have a wonderful day.



  1. Oh, we love to garden too. There is nothing better than a garden tomato! I wonder how Lar is going to react when the eggplant becomes recognizable, lol! Too funny! We usually eat out both Saturday and Sunday nights. There never seems to be much time for cooking on the weekends. The break from the kitchen is wonderful in my eyes! On my last birthday, my hubby was telling everyone that I would be getting a birthday spanking. Everyone thought he was just joking and laughed it off. Only I knew he was serious, but still.......

    I'm just beginning to see how difficult DD can be when you don't agree with a decision. I guess that will never change. In a way, I'm glad to read that you don't always always, go along with Lar. Mainly because I doubt I can ever be submissive 100% of the time. You don't either and yet it still works for you two.

    Hope you get everything done in time for your guests and that you all have a wonderful visit and enjoy each other.

  2. I cannot wait to see the look on his face when he discovers he planted eggplant. I was telling my brother earlier what I did and he thought it funny, too. I might get a spanking, but it will be a fun one if I do. Those public threats of spanking still embarrass me, even when others think Lar is teasing. I always know better.

    DD can be difficult, and agreeing 100% of the time isn't going to happen. It's how you handle that part that makes a differences. Lar is good at hearing me out, sometimes more than once. The one thing I do know is that when he makes a decision I don't like, he does so with the best of intentions, never to be mean or spiteful. It takes a lot of communication... and then, if you choose to cross that 'line' you need to be prepared to accept the consequences.

    I'll get everything done; I always do. Today I've cleared a lot of laundry, including my daughter's towels. Why she thinks they 'do better' here is a mystery to me, but so be it. weg


  3. I want a garden this year. I know I am a bit late, however I am going to try. LOL
    I think we are human and no matter how close you are it is not always going to be easy. When I do not agree I try really hard to think about things from his perspective.

    1. It isn't too late to put out plants, Minelle. I don't know where you live (and you certainly don't need to say so here...) but ask your garden center what you can plant... We got a bit of a late start, too.

      It's is always important to try and look at things from each other's points of view. Communication is very important.