I cannot believe it is May already!

May...!?!  I honestly don't know how it got here so quickly.  I feel terrible for those people still getting snow, but I have to say that I'm happy we are having a beautiful spring here.  I have windows and doors open, and it feels great to 'air out' the house.

I guess I should report that my eye appointment went well.  It wasn't comfortable because the doctor was in my personal space, but easier because I knew him from treating my Mama.  He also remembered her, and I was touched.  My eyes are good, no sign of diabetes in them, so I feel fortunate.  What I do have is called "Dry eyes".  He is treating it agressively, and I am doing my part and following instructions.  He said they wouldn't improve overnight, but when I go back in a couple of weeks, I should have some improvement.  Thank you for the emails and words of encouragement.  It did help, believe me.

Lar had yard work he wanted to get done last Saturday, in spite of my calling dibs on his time.  I told him I would start upstairs and if he wasn't tired when he got done with his stuff, he could give me a hand.  I had a lot done by the time he came upstairs, and he complained a while later and asked, "Woman, do you ever take breaks?"  I told him we could take a large break when we got finished.  Geesh.  We only had about ten minutes left to be done!

I really don't have anything DD-ish to write about today, except for the fact that I saw a woman in the store yesterday who needed a good spanking.  She was in one bitchy mood and taking it out on her little ones and anyone unfortunate enough to get in her way.  She was leaving the parking lot when I was loading my groceries into my car, and she nearly ran down an older man who could barely move fast enough to get out of her way.  I don't think she had to be somewhere.... She was just having a tantrum.  I know that 'out of control' feeling. 

When I was younger, even before Lar and I were married, I went through times where I felt sooooo out of control... the difference...?  I instinctively knew what I needed.  As I've shared many times before, Lar spanked before we married... and after. At the time I didn't realize I was pushing him to the point he was spanking in anger.  Then he felt so much guilt for spanking me that he didn't realize I was 'human' again.  He told me years later that he always expected me to leave him, and he was shocked when I treated him 'nice'.  Well, Lar dear, I am wired this way.  He knows that now...

I still feel that 'out of control' feeling at times, especially if it's been too long between spankings.  What I haven't convinced Lar of is that what he calls a 'stress relief' spanking does nothing for this overwhelming need.  Then I need a spanking that is more like a real punishment.  Lar always says that he needs to have a bit of 'temper' to carry out a punishment spanking.  I can remember trying to discuss this issue with him one time, and since I was feeling 'out of control', I assured him that I could spark his temper if he really wanted me to.  I didn't say it that nicely either, and I think I threw something at him, too.  Something I was folding.  I think I got a spanking then...  Yes, I am not perfect, but that was several years ago.  Now I am boring, and I cannot have that.  Of course, if I keep hiring a neighbor to mow our grass, Lar is going to blow a gasket.  I'm trying to be nice to Lar, but he really doesn't appreciate the fact I am paying someone to do what he can do himself.  He wants to plant our garden tomorrow, and I decided that was enough to do without mowing added to the mix.  I am pleased that Lar is trying to cut back a bit on the hours he's been working; he is trying to convince himself to retire.  A dear friend of ours told me last night, "Larry is just like his mother; always running and working and doing something.  What will he do with himself if he retires?" 

Joannie