Monday, April 8, 2013

Good morning.  I just had my plans for my day turned upside down, and while I am mentally regrouping and getting into 'writer mode', I thought it would be a good time to make today's post.  And, I'm going to change the topic I planned to write about today, to the one on my mind right now!

I was going to run errands for my dear husband, who took off this morning with his driver's license... Now, no, that is not unusual, but I needed to take it and a certified copy of his birth certificate to the Social Security office.  The man has been 'fighting' me tooth and nail about filling out the forms that all of us need to fill out when we reach the wonderful age of sixty-five.  He simply refuses to accept change in his life, and the idea of retiring is repugnant to him.  I would simply say, "Go for it!"... IF he wasn't working sixty to seventy hours a week.  I would not worry so much if he would cut back to forty hours and not work six or seven days a week.  He is exhausted all the time...  Okay, that is the background.

A few years ago I would have lost it when I realized my plans for the day were ruined when he didn't cooperate and leave his license here.  After all, I am giving up MY time to do this FOR him, and I would have felt sorely unappreciated! I would have had a fit, said harsh and angry words to him, and I would be mad until he teased me out of it, or did something special to 'fix' things.  That was before DD.

To me, one of the major benefits of living this lifestyle is learning to control the temper that was so destructive during the first twenty-seven years of our marriage.  Oh, early on, before children entered into the picture, Lar would take so much of my witchiness, until HE was angry, and then he would spank.  It had a calming affect on me, but then he suffered with guilt because he 'hit a woman', someone he loved and would protect with his life.  I was soooo unaware of his feelings, or I could and would have reassured him and begged him to continue being that stern man.  Even then I desired this lifestyle, and I sometimes wonder if I wasn't acting out so much to try and provoke him to spank me.  I also felt like this need was my dirty, dark secret, and I guarded it religiously.  I was afraid for anyone, especially Lar, to find out about my secret because I just knew I had to be mentally ill to think such things.  Secretly I was thrilled when he spanked.  It worked, and I was always so disappointed that he didn't 'get it'.

It wasn't until my brother gave me his old computer and I got online and typed in that magic word "Spanking" and so many sites came up that I learned there were others like me!  I was shocked, and I was relieved, but I was still afraid to tell Lar.

Things came to a head one day, and if you've read my Laurel and Joseph books, you know the story... I thought there was nothing to lose, and I told Lar I wanted a DD lifestyle; that I wanted to be accountable.  He agreed and an S/O or HOH was born.  I know he was shocked to realize how quickly a spanking would bring a tantrum to an end.  We have dealt with a lot of issues in fourteen years, and while I am certainly not perfect, I am not an out of control wife any longer.

So, instead of flying into a rage at having my plans changed, I am going to use the time to work on a story, clean out the fridge, and fix a special dinner for Lar.  And, I won't let it wreck the beginning of this week.  DD does have many benefits, and I am positive that Lar is at work, smiling and very pleased that the temper he was expecting didn't happen.  This change didn't happen over night, and fourteen years ago, it would have been a guaranteed sore butt.  Now it might be a Good Girl spanking instead (especially if I bake a blackberry pie for him). WEG



  1. And poor Lar has never been the same since but he does know how to handle his little lady.


  2. Great job on your journey! I'm still getting there!