Reflections when I am not able to sleep....

DD isn't just about the spanking... or is it?  I mean, I do think we reach a point where it becomes more important to do what is expected of us, more a matter of pride not to earn a punishment; right?  It has become that for Lar and I.  But, I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the old 'me'; the one who picked up something and threw it because Lar was less than thrilled with what I fixed to eat... and hit a huge mirror that was a gift from a relative of his that I am sure hated us both or she would have found something other than that huge, UGLY mirror to give us for a wedding gift! Yes, that was before our DD days... way before... but I did get a spanking for having a tantrum.  Lar had to throw away our food since the shards of glass were in our food... and everywhere else in that small kitchen, and he cleaned up the entire mess while I was sitting on our bed fuming because he picked me up and carried me in there and told me not to move off of the bed, or else!!!  (I was on crutches at the time; broken ankle... and very irritable.)  Yes, it was a pretty heated scene... and heated bottom.  That first year of marriage was tough, but we survived and learned.  Now as we approach number 41, I rarely throw anything at him!  I don't go off quite as easy as I used to.  Is DD responsible?  Yes.  Is it a good thing?  Of course.  But, is there a part of me that wishes I could break that mirror again? lol  Yeppers. But, I won't.  (Lar did thank me for breaking the darn thing.  He hated it, too. And then he took me out to eat.) 
Joannie